


Apex

by HideNagachika



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, M/M, this is the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 11:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3808972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HideNagachika/pseuds/HideNagachika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki was out and about, having a great day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apex

Kaneki was out and about, having a great day. He had just gotten some new books at the store, and was very eager to get back to his apartment and read them. As he passed by a cafe, he looked at the tables outside the restaurant, drawn in by the coffee’s alluring scent.

However, as he looked over, he saw the most beautiful man he had ever seen. The man had blonde hair, but his hair seemed to be bleached or dyed and his roots were showing ever so slightly. He also had the brightest smile anyone could possibly have. At his table, he had a banana, a muffin, and a latte with very cute art of a bunny on it. Kaneki found his feet slowly turning towards him. When Kaneki did this, however, the man suddenly picked up the banana, and shoved it down his mouth. Whole.

_What the fuck._

Kaneki couldn’t help but stare in shock.

He began running towards the blonde, and grabbed him as best he could and took him to his apartment.

\---

He set the man down on the walkway and unlocked the door. Kaneki could see the man was stricken with pain, but he was still unconscious. He did just shove a whole fucking banana in his mouth, and Kaneki suddenly couldn’t blame him for being so uncomfortable. He wouldn’t be able to do that. He wasn’t sure anyone could. But he had obviously been proved wrong.

Kaneki carried the man inside, and as he laid him down as gently, he could see the blondes eyes flutter open. 

“W-where am I?” He said upon waking.

Kaneki was very startled. He didn’t expect him to have such a nice voice.

“You’re in my apartment. You shoved a whole fucking banana in your mouth. Do you remember anything?”

“Actually, I don’t! My name is Hideyoshi Nagachika. Sorry for, y’know, whatever the hell happened earlier. You can call me Hide!” He then began violently convulsing. 

“Hold on! Lemme find my phone. I have to call an ambulance.” Kaneki ran out of the main room and into his room to get his phone. He couldn’t have another person die on him. Not again. Not like this mom.

When he found his phone and made his way into the main room, he found himself face to face with a very large primate instead of a very handsome man.

Yet again, _what the actual fuck._ What was in that banana?

It seemed to be orange, almost like Hide’s hair from earlier. Because of the monkeys human like face, Kaneki could see he was not the only one who was shocked here.

He could see the fear in his eyes.

Hide suddenly ran for the door, opened it, and continued to grow. This was no normal monkey.

This was truly a monster.

He then realized that ghouls would no longer be a top predator.

Hide is the **Apex Predator.**

\---

Kaneki chased after Hide. He was taller than most buildings by now, and his growing seemed to stop. They passed the mask shop, where Kaneki had so many good memories. Uta then walked out of the store, and promptly got crushed by a large orange foot. 

Kaneki wondered if it was fate. He felt as though it was for the better, but couldn’t quite put his finger on why.

Hide continued to walk through the town, and was currently nearing the closest skyscraper. As he got there, he began to climb it, and ‘Hide’ then proceeded to screech at the top of his lungs.

Only a single thing shone through Hide’s very loud screeching, and it was the faint sound of poorly spoken french.

“ _Amore_ , Kaneki-kun! This is most certainly _heartbreak_.” Tsukiyama was then very close to Kaneki, closer than comfortable. He was, as suddenly as he was there, gone. He looked up to see Tsukiyama in “Hide’s” ape hand. Hide threw Tsukiyama into the sun. He is gone, and most likely dead and burned alive.

Kaneki began crying. His friends are all dying. But then again, this was his life.

And he almost always saw more beauty in death rather than in life.

Kaneki then walked home, and accepted his fate. He could hear the helicopters closing in now. It would soon be over.

\---

Later that day, Kaneki turned on the news.

_Huge ape terrorises Tokyo! The End is Near!_

Kaneki heard loud sounds closing in, almost like an earthquake.

The last thing he sees is a very large, orange, hairy foot descending upon him.

**Author's Note:**

> hi im sarg and this is jackass. i hope you enjoyed. also: yes, i just made hide turn into a fucking giant gorilla. i cant write anything better than this.


End file.
